• Charlotte Alford

Have you considered Alcoholism?

Updated: Jul 23



The topic on everyone lips right now is, obviously, Coronavirus. It seems like the entire country is either working from home or preparing to work from home. Working from home is all fun and games when you can slyly get your eyebrows done, whilst also taking a senior team through the recent KPI's. It's a whole other thing when you can't even get a lunchtime pint without fear of contracting or infecting someone with a pesky virus.


Lucky for you, me and the Grandad have created this very handy list of some of the things you can get up to from the comfort of your own home, all while "working".



Baking

I love baking. For a very short period of time I even considered opening my own lil' cupcake shop. Terrible idea since I eat half of anything I bake. Also because me and Big Rab once made the creepiest looking pie known to man. But if you ever need a last minute birthday cupcake, I'm your gal. The best thing is that no pasta or toilet roll is needed in any baking recipe (that I am aware of anyway). So if you have always wanted to learn how to bake, now is your time. I recommend starting with a basic flapjack and working your way up to a three layer cake with ganache topping. I am available to sample.


Side Note: I'm not a parent, however, if your kids have been sent home from school, please for the love of God do not bake with them. It may seem fun but the last thing you need is a bunch of kids stuck indoors on a Tuesday afternoon trying to burn off a sugar high.

I thought I was being a good babysitter. I was not. It was carnage.



Get Fit

Not my favourite idea since the last time I tried to do an "at home" exercise plan, I only had tins of baked beans for weights and all that ended in was one sit up and then beans on toast for a post workout snack.


But while working from home, it is very easy to find yourself just sitting in front of your laptop all day and night long without taking a break for anything other than getting snacks from the kitchen. Don't forget your mental health is just as important as your physical. Get up. Stretch. And do something that doesn't involve a screen for a least a few minutes. I guarantee work will not fall apart because you decided to do a ten minute yoga session.



Self Care

As long as you alternate which eye is covered by a piece of cucumber, you can pretty much do all your work while also treating yourself to the pamper session of a lifetime. Facemasks, nose strips, deep conditioning hair treatments, painted nails, moisturising gloves and a wee foot spa if you have one. All of it, chuck it all on. If your body doesn't look like it's representing Lush's entire product list, then you are doing it wrong. Just make sure you don't have any video calls on the calendar...


Handy tip - if you have an IKEA bed frame, you can whip out a couple of bed slats, sit them across your bathtub and you have a DIY bath table that you can sit your laptop (and a glass of wine) on. Keep your hands (and electronics) out the water and you have yourself the most relaxing office space known to man. That is basically a bit of inside information on how I survived my dissertation.



Alcoholism

I have either picked the perfect year to give up alcohol for lent or the worst. On one hand, I'm unable to sit in a pub looking miserable as I sip on my ridiculously overpriced mixture of fruit juices, commonly known as a "Mocktail". (Called that, because the staff are mocking you for buying one). On the other hand, if there was ever an excuse to drink on a daily basis, it was now.

You may feel slightly awkward sipping on a Corona with lime, but rest assured, there are a large number of alcohols to keep your days interesting and your evenings fun and stress free. If you are too stressed about everything to sleep, chuck on the news and take a shot for every time someone says Corona, you'll be passed out before they've finished reading the headlines. Also, you are working from home anyway, so no one will ever know you are hungover. You can even nip off for a wee afternoon nap if needed.

It's completely fool proof!



Books

Read books. Read all the books. I guarantee there is a book tucked away somewhere in your home that you have been meaning to read, but haven't had the chance. The beauty of reading is that it can be done as a solo actively or you can join them with one of my aforementioned activities. Read books about baking, while wearing a facemask. Distract yourself from the never ending 30 seconds plank by sitting an open book at eye level. Open a nice bottle of wine or two and see how far you can get through before the words start blurring.



Joking aside, today is drastically different to the world we were living in a month ago. We don't know what is going to happen when we come out the other end of this or even when we will come out of it. There is a hell of a lot of uncertainty and, realistically, people are scared. However, I truly believe that it is always important to find the silver lining in any situation. Because, no matter how bad things get, there is always a silver lining.


I think the silver lining right now is that a number of healthy people around the world are currently self isolating. People aren't doing this because they are scared of contracting Corona, or because they are only worried about their friends and family. They are doing it because they don't want to be carrying and potentially spreading this virus; You have a world full people sacrificing their social lives, businesses, incomes and relationships (cause, lets face it, two weeks stuck in constant close proximity to anyone is going to cause a serious strain on the healthiest of relationships) for the sole purpose of, not only protecting their families, but also to protect complete strangers. I think that is probably the nicest silver lining I have ever come across.


To everyone reading this quickly thrown together blog post: Stay safe, stay sane, and look out for the silver linings...


Also I was being serious about taste testing any baking goods. Especially banana bread. Leave it on my door step though, because... you know... isolation.